December (25 wks - 25 wks, 4 days)
12.19
(25 wks)- Today is Tyler’s 12th birthday, he opened his
birthday presents and we went for breakfast at Butterfield’s. We dropped Brian off at home so he could
sleep, while I drove my nephew home. We
stayed to eat lunch and let the kids play for a little while. We came home in time for my sister Colleen to
pick up Tyler and take him out for a birthday dinner. I gave Makenna and Jonathan baths, put them
to bed, and did some laundry. When
Colleen brought Tyler home she stayed to chat.
I remember telling her, “Something feels different about this pregnancy,
I’m so tired and I feel so heavy.” And
she said, “Yeah, you’re old, you’re taking care of two kids, and Tyler’s in
hockey and Brian was just in the hospital.”
I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the back of the couch. Then she asked, “Are you ok? You look uncomfortable.” I said, “I am.” She moved over and sat next to me on the
couch to feel my belly. I told her that
I didn’t think the baby was as active as the other kids at this point in my
pregnancy and that I was going to mention it to my doctor at my next
visit. This was the date of my
originally rescheduled ultrasound.
12.20
(25 wks, 1 day)- Today Brian and I took
Makenna and Jonathan to see The Muppets Movie.
It was the second movie Makenna had seen in the theater, and Jonathan’s
first. I felt the baby move while we
were in the theater.
12.21
(25 wks, 2 days)- Today was Brian’s second day off so it was a busy day. We went shopping to buy Tyler new shoes, ate
lunch at PJ’s, Tyler and I got haircuts, then we drove up to Wauconda for a ballet
exercise bar. I was hoping the exercises
would help alleviate some of the pain from my sciatic nerve. From there we drove to Park Ridge to buy a
set of newborn cloth diapers. I had some
pressure and cramping while we were driving in the car but attributed it to the
fact we were busy all day. We got home,
ate dinner, put the kids to bed and when I laid down to sleep, my belly relaxed
and the pressure subsided.
12.22
(25 wks, 3 days)- Today we finished our
Christmas shopping. On our way home Brian
called his mom to see if we could stop by to wish her a happy birthday. Aunt Barb, Karen and Kim L. were already
there. We stayed to have lunch and when
Aunt Barb was leaving she gave me a hug and said, “I won’t touch your belly, I
know some women don’t like that.” And I
said, “You can touch my belly, I don’t mind sharing it.” I lifted up my shirt and she rubbed my belly
and bent down to say, “Hello baby, can’t wait to meet you.” We left to take Brian home so he could sleep,
and I drove Tyler to his friend’s house for a sleepover. I came
home, fed the kids dinner (since I wasn’t hungry yet), and started their
bath. While they were in the tub my
friend Tracy called to remind me that I had to call her as soon as I was done
with the ultrasound to tell her if the baby was a boy or a girl because she
wanted to go out and buy an outfit for the baby. I laughed and told her we didn’t know if we
would find out & it would all depend on whether the baby cooperated. After I finished my conversation with her I
read books to the kids, turned on the Christmas music, and sat in the rocking
chair while they fell asleep. Brian came
in their room to give us goodnight kisses and left for work. I was rocking in the chair when I realized
the baby wasn’t moving, so I stopped rocking and put my hands on my belly for a
few minutes and waited, but nothing happened.
It was unusual for the baby not to move when I stopped rocking, and I
had a feeling something was wrong. I
tried to think if I had felt the baby move during the day, but I couldn’t. I tried to convince myself that I hadn’t paid
attention because we were busy. The kids
had fallen asleep so I got up and took a shower, and still didn’t feel
anything. I thought maybe it was
because I hadn’t eaten dinner yet, so I made something to eat and took it into
the bedroom to watch tv. I didn’t feel
the baby move while I was eating, so I waited a few minutes with my hands on my
belly, hoping to feel something; but there was nothing. I turned off the tv and the lights and laid
in bed with my hands on my belly desperately hoping to feel a kick or a
somersault, but when I didn’t I knew something was wrong. I wanted to call Brian and tell him I wasn’t
feeling the baby move, but I didn’t want to worry or distract him. Instead I laid alone in bed all night with my
hands on my belly waiting.
12.23
(23 wks, 4 days)- I got out of bed when
my alarm went off, and went in the kitchen to make coffee for when Brian got
home. I got dressed and stood in the
bathroom trying to figure out how to tell Brian the baby wasn’t moving. When he got home, he changed his clothes and
we were standing in the kitchen drinking our coffee and I told him, “I’m trying
not to be paranoid, but I haven’t felt the baby move.” And he told me, “Don’t be paranoid,
everything’s fine.” I wanted so badly to
believe him, but I knew it wasn’t fine.
I drank a glass of orange juice, hoping to wake the baby up, while Brian
went to get Makenna and Jonathan out of bed.
We dressed them and left at 7:30a, with plans to go out for breakfast
afterwards.
We got
to the ultrasound office at 8:15a, I went in back to get weighed and measured,
and when I came back to the waiting room Brian said, “Thank you for being a
pretty pregnant lady, I mean thank you for always taking care of yourself and
not looking miserable. I know you don’t
always feel great when you’re pregnant, but these women are rough.” While I was gone he had scanned the room and
noticed that most of the women were there in their pajamas, and their hair was
tied up in ratty ponytails. Every one of
them looked uncomfortable and unhappy, or like they had just gotten out of
bed. I giggled at the expression on his
face and whispered, “You’re welcome, you’re lucky I don’t like to look like an
ugly hag on purpose.” We laughed at the
silliness of what we were talking about.
Then the nurse called my name and we went in back to our ultrasound room.
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